Cringing before the angry mob, we shuffle up Whitehall for our monthly ritual shaming, dodging insults and rotten vegetables. We can hardly complain. Our thoughtless extravagance has created misery for all. Public humiliation is the least we deserve.

I have this nightmare occasionally, and rightly so. Fewer than 5 per cent of the planet’s 7.7 billion inhabitants have been on a plane. When the revolution comes, a good place to start the reckoning will be with frequent fliers like me. Our jet-setting may once have seemed enviable; now it is planet-cooking selfishness. Just one long-haul flight can emit more than my entire annual ration of 2.3 tonnes of CO₂. As the climate warms, sea levels rise and extinction looms, it is easy to see…